Scattered thoughts and finding balance.

Hello….not sure where this post is going to go, hence its title. I seem to be a bit all over the place of late.

Today is a New Moon which falls in Libra, we all know that the image for Libra is a set of scales..balance and a new moon is a time for setting intentions for the coming Lunar cycle….so maybe that is what is needed, I need to balance things out?

I didn’t renew my contract with my employer at the beginning of September, we had discussed this as a family and the decision was made for me to be more available to my husband and daughters to support them. He has a number of medical conditions that have left him disabled and the girls have some serious mental health issues, that I felt would be better managed if I was with them before and after school. By not working the split shift driving, I am also able to invest more time in my small business, the aim of which is to add some financial support to us as a family.

Trying to establish a new routine of self employed working alongside domesticity is taking some time but I feel like I am starting to get somewhere…yet at other times I feel I am not getting anywhere, but I assume I will find a healthy balance soon if I stick at it.

We had a slight financial hiccup last month (I took my eye off the ball!), but this forced the issue of taking stock of the bank account, as like so many other families up and down the country, changes are being made that will hit everyone in the pocket, from benefits to fuel, to cost of shopping to heating, everything has a knock on effect. I now have a better grasp on the finances and the changes I have made will take some time to balance out to make it manageable in the long term.

With everything that has been going on, I feel I have let my practice slide somewhat…but I keep being reminded that Herself, Hekate, is not far away. She reminds me of this by making sure that I find random keys in my path, literally right in front of me as I am walking along, these are the latest 2! Another nudge that I need to find balance in my schedule for Her along with everything else, even if it is just lighting a candle for her on my altar instead of a big ritual.

Speaking of which, as it is a New Moon or should I more accurately call it, a Dark Moon, I am going to clean and sort my altar space out today so that when it truly is a New Moon, when I see the first sliver in the night sky, I can go and leave my offerings to Her at the crossroads.

As we approach the Crone part of the year, as we near Samhuinn, when The Cailleach strides through the landscape once again, I find that I am biologically approaching my Crone-dom…I am walking a fine line, balancing between my Mother phase and my Crone phase (I am already feeling sorry for my husband and my daughters!). I don’t rail against this next stage of my life, in fact I am looking forward to it….I am just a bit wary of the roller coaster ride it might take to get there fully, but now that I am aware of the changes that are happening, I can build self care onto my daily habit, go easy on myself (and others) if I find myself struggling etc.

And lastly, as it is the New Moon, I want to sow seeds/intentions for upcoming months/lunar cycles, so following last nights high winds and while I was out walking the dog, I collected fallen seeds from various trees as I found them. I will sow them and let them overwinter with my intentions for next calendar year, business and personal and hopefully they will germinate and grow – intentions and trees! If successful with trees, there may be a bit of guerilla planting going on!

Anyway, there you go, I did warn you that my thoughts were a bit all over the place didn’t I?At least it is out of my head now so that should allow me to get on with other things now….but first, cleaning my altar space! New Moon blessings to you all, x

Bread…and be careful where your thoughts are!

Mmmm…the smell of home made bread really is quite divine isn’t it?

I have recently started making a loaf of bread a day for me and my family instead of buying shop bought bread.  It is working out more cost effective and I am getting a great deal of pleasure from making bread to feed my family knowing that there are not loads of hidden extras like preservatives in there.

Since starting my daily bread making, about maybe 3 weeks ago, each loaf has turned out lovely and tastes amazing – especially toasted with butter…yum yum yum!

The most popular so far is a mixture of seeded wholemeal flour and wholemeal flour, it makes for a lovely firm bread that slices perfectly when making sandwiches for the children’s packed lunches for school, although I have made a simple soda bread loaf and boy oh boy is that good!  (Tend to keep that one for me and the Mr!)

Anyway…yesterday was a rubbish day!  Following a very long time spent at a yearly hospital check up, several unsuccessful attempts at getting a blood sample and not a lot to eat the entire day, I was hangry ( hungry and angry) and got very annoyed with an incident at my daughters school and ended up complaining to a teacher who promised me it would be sorted the following day…so when it came to making the bread that evening, I might not have been in the best frame of mind.

I wasn’t in the lovely calm place that is full of the warm nice feelings I get when I know I am making food for my family, I was in a good old nark and I took it out on the bread mix/kneading.  Well you know what they say about where your mind is at when making spells, about your intentions when working with magick, it became apparent that something wasn’t right with the bread dough as it didn’t rise very well after is first proving, I carried on a kneaded it again before putting it in its tin for its second prove before baking…it still didn’t rise, so I left it a bit longer, still no joy.  I was disappointed because this was my first fail and I had run out of flour so couldn’t make anymore, a bought in loaf would have to be got!

It was only this evening as I started to make another loaf (more supplies having been bought) that I realised all of my bad mood and angry thoughts had been put into the bread mix the day before, the dough was a big solid ball of snarly grumpyness…no wonder it didn’t rise or do anything, it just sat there!

So there you go, it doesn’t matter what magick  you are working, spells, potions, baking and kitchen magick, always be aware of where your thoughts are and what intentions you are putting into what you are creating….can you imagine what would have happened if we had eaten the bread = one proper grumpy family!