Scattered thoughts and finding balance.

Hello….not sure where this post is going to go, hence its title. I seem to be a bit all over the place of late.

Today is a New Moon which falls in Libra, we all know that the image for Libra is a set of scales..balance and a new moon is a time for setting intentions for the coming Lunar cycle….so maybe that is what is needed, I need to balance things out?

I didn’t renew my contract with my employer at the beginning of September, we had discussed this as a family and the decision was made for me to be more available to my husband and daughters to support them. He has a number of medical conditions that have left him disabled and the girls have some serious mental health issues, that I felt would be better managed if I was with them before and after school. By not working the split shift driving, I am also able to invest more time in my small business, the aim of which is to add some financial support to us as a family.

Trying to establish a new routine of self employed working alongside domesticity is taking some time but I feel like I am starting to get somewhere…yet at other times I feel I am not getting anywhere, but I assume I will find a healthy balance soon if I stick at it.

We had a slight financial hiccup last month (I took my eye off the ball!), but this forced the issue of taking stock of the bank account, as like so many other families up and down the country, changes are being made that will hit everyone in the pocket, from benefits to fuel, to cost of shopping to heating, everything has a knock on effect. I now have a better grasp on the finances and the changes I have made will take some time to balance out to make it manageable in the long term.

With everything that has been going on, I feel I have let my practice slide somewhat…but I keep being reminded that Herself, Hekate, is not far away. She reminds me of this by making sure that I find random keys in my path, literally right in front of me as I am walking along, these are the latest 2! Another nudge that I need to find balance in my schedule for Her along with everything else, even if it is just lighting a candle for her on my altar instead of a big ritual.

Speaking of which, as it is a New Moon or should I more accurately call it, a Dark Moon, I am going to clean and sort my altar space out today so that when it truly is a New Moon, when I see the first sliver in the night sky, I can go and leave my offerings to Her at the crossroads.

As we approach the Crone part of the year, as we near Samhuinn, when The Cailleach strides through the landscape once again, I find that I am biologically approaching my Crone-dom…I am walking a fine line, balancing between my Mother phase and my Crone phase (I am already feeling sorry for my husband and my daughters!). I don’t rail against this next stage of my life, in fact I am looking forward to it….I am just a bit wary of the roller coaster ride it might take to get there fully, but now that I am aware of the changes that are happening, I can build self care onto my daily habit, go easy on myself (and others) if I find myself struggling etc.

And lastly, as it is the New Moon, I want to sow seeds/intentions for upcoming months/lunar cycles, so following last nights high winds and while I was out walking the dog, I collected fallen seeds from various trees as I found them. I will sow them and let them overwinter with my intentions for next calendar year, business and personal and hopefully they will germinate and grow – intentions and trees! If successful with trees, there may be a bit of guerilla planting going on!

Anyway, there you go, I did warn you that my thoughts were a bit all over the place didn’t I?At least it is out of my head now so that should allow me to get on with other things now….but first, cleaning my altar space! New Moon blessings to you all, x

Time spent with a tree is never time wasted.

This is my tree….well it’s not my tree obviously, it’s in my local park. And it’s not just my tree, I have seen numerous people hug and ground themselves under the spread of this great Oak.

There is a benevolent energy around this tree and I have spent many a moment talking to and listening to this tree.

Today, I asked it for help, to lend me some strength and take some of the hurt, pain, anger and stress I am carrying away.

With my eyes closed and my forehead against the trunk, I pleaded with the Oak. After a few moments I realised my racing thoughts were slowing and my focus was being redirected towards the sounds of children laughing and squealing in the primary school down the way a bit, I could hear and identify the sounds in the tree above me, the chattercliffe of annoyed squirrel (as I had the dog with me), the different chirps and calls of the different birds in the branches……..for a few moments there was calm………and then the dog barked at the squirrel he could see but not reach!

The moment had passed, but not before the tree did what I had asked and helped.

I am now carrying about the park, my load a little lighter…..time spent with a tree is never time wasted!

Crows

Hi again…two posts in as many days!

Felt I had to share what happened this afternoon in the park whilst walking the dog.

I was throwing his ball for him with one of those plastic flinging devices, so when you throw like a girl (!) he at least gets a good chase, anyway I digress.  Throwing his ball across one of the fields in the park I notice a group (a murder) of crows creating a racket on the ground about the same time the dog does. Now I love corvids…especially crows but the dog likes to charge them like a bowling ball and make them all fly. He duly did this and all but one took off….he was then shouted at by a couple of crows who kept trying to charge him. Thinking this wasnt right I made my way over to find a not-quite-fledgling on the ground, mum and dad trying to protect it from the other birds doing what crows do and trying to kill it, in comes Dufus-dog just to add more confusion!
Its parents flew off to one side caw-ing loudly as I approached baby…it wanted to fly but it still had some pin feathers and not quite enough strength so I picked it up so the dog wouldnt get too interested, its mum and dad were watching me closely as I walked over to the tree line where I presumed its nest was…

Gorgeous……simply gorgeous!

Mum and Dad followed me, shouting as I tried to put it in a tree.

Only I had put it in the wrong tree, its parents were sat in another calling it! After a few minutes the silly bird tried to fly again…only to hit the floor and then it was a race between me and the dog to get to it first, Dufus-dog didnt want to hurt it, he isnt like that but I wasnt taking the chance!

This time I put it in the tree its parents were shouting it from…of course they are near the top and I am trying to pull down a large branch (yeah…that wasnt painful at all!!!) for baby bird to sit in and recover…the hope being it could walk and hope further up the branch and into the tree. Kept telling its parents what I was doing, because of course they could understand me, as well as talking to baby!

I left for a bit to carry on walking the dog, after telling them I would walk back this way to check on them before I left the park.  As we came back past them baby was walking along the branch and then thought it had obviously had enough rest and was going to jump a gap…it missed but at least I was there to shove its bum up with the ball flinger so it could get back on a thicker branch again.

I left it to mum and dad at this point but I have to admit….I want to back out again now to check on it but I will wait for the dogs evening walk and we might take a longer route and swing by the park for a looksie….I really want it to survive…I know nature is survival of the fittest but falling out of a nest isn’t fitness is it?

My heart is heavy…I really love crows and I really want this little one to live!

One of my favourite things to do

Happy 1st June to you all…this year is just fair skipping by isn’t it?

Thought I would share with you, one of my favourite things to do when its just me walking the dog.
In one of my local parks there is a Labyrinth cut into the grass in a quiet spot of the park…here it is.

When I dont have the kids with me I can walk this in peace! Anywhere else in the park, the dog barely stays with me but in this bit he sticks quite close, I feel be knows that I am in a different place when walking the Labyrinth so he doesn’t disappear, when I get to the center (and if its dry enough!) I like to sit and try to meditate. At this point the dog normally sits close by to watch over me…this is him sat right behind this morning..

Sometimes however, watching over me looks like this..

Sitting down on the grass, with the ‘walls’ of the Labyrinth at eye level..

…listening to the buzz of insects going about their daily lives, the songs of birds in the trees and the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze, its very easy to forget I am in an inner-city park and I can reach a place that leaves me feeling….blissed out is the phrase that comes to mind.

By way of a thank you for the time spent at peace in the Labyrinth I tend to collect litter and dog poo as I walk the spiral back out again, there is always litter and dog poo in the Labyrinth much to my annoyance but its a public park so I can only do my bit! Here are today’s finds….not a big collection today!

After leaving the Labyrinth I feel taller, more upright and lighter…it really is good for my soul spending time in there.
If possible I then like to go and visit my serenity tree, the big Oak further round the park.

It really is a magnificent Oak, I always ask permission to approach before I walk under its boughs and I will place my hand against its trunk. I usually then ask if I can hug it, if I get a positive feeling then hugging this wonderful tree is again good for me and I would like to say the tree benefits too. I can ground myself and the feelings I get while under the boughs of the tree cant really be put into words, I cant describe it and do it justice but take a look at these shady boughs…

So now, feeling totally relaxed, lighter and more at ease I then get the pleasure of seeing the wild roses and the very happy bumble bees staggering laden down with pollen from one rose to another…all the bushes were alive with happy buzzing!

Walking the dog in this particular park really is one of my favourite things because I get quality zen time with Mother Nature!

Serenity and timeout.

This picture may look a bit dull and grey but it was in fact quite a mild and warm walk.
This is taken looking up while I do my usual and spend time underneath what I have called my Serenity Tree. It is a big Oak that is in my local park, it has a lovely shelf on its trunk which is the perfect height for me to rest my rump on whilst leaning against the tree and having some timeout.

The grey asky wasn’t quite as dark as it looks here but the sun was a bright spot in the grey and I was fascinated by the amazing number of little round bobbles on the ends of all the twigs and branches, each bobble getting ready to burst open with new leaves…too numerous to count!

I love spending time under this Oak, the dog has got used to me taking timeout here, he usually joins in and has a few minutes chilling out too as you can see!

After resting a while and thinking, I always thank ‘my’ Oak and give it a hug.

Do you have a favourite tree where you like to rest a while and think?